Pagan Blog Project week 13: G is for God-phoning

God: Yes, this is god. How may I help you?

You: Hi! I was just wondering what your plans are for me for, say, the next eighty or so years?

God: Yes, of course, let me just get my records…

In case you haven’t noticed my intense sarcasm in the little exchange above, that was sarcastic. Also, no, there is no such thing as a literal god-phone (how cool would that be, though).

A lot of people stress out about not being able to hear their god clearly, me included. I thought something was wrong with me; it seemed like everyone on tumblr had some kind of super close buddy-buddy relationship thing with their gods where they could hang out in the dining room and talk about the latest stock market numbers. I couldn’t hear anything, and the closest I got was feeling things in some rare instances. What was wrong with me?

Nothing, as it turns out.

Not all of us are specially-tuned celestial transistor radios. In fact, most of us aren’t. That’s not a thing that’s as common as tumblr would have it appear. Certainly there are people who are very well-tuned to the gods, but for the rest of us, how are we supposed to know when our deity wants a vodka on the rocks, and wants it NOW? The answer involves, you guessed it: hard work. Welcome to polytheism, folks.

Divination can be a great tool to learn things from. If you request a god’s presence, and do whichever method you practice, hopefully that deity can nudge the right answers. And I’ve learned that I can tell if some readings are intuitively right or wrong (which I’m guessing comes with practice) so hopefully discernment isn’t an issue.

Astral travel is also an option. Generally going to a gods’ place of residence and asking permission to come inside will do the trick. Although if they bar your entry, then you’ll just have to find another way to contact them. Astral travel is often a lot more detailed than other methods of communication. While travelling, I can have a conversation with my gods where there are actual words involved. Sentences, even. Do your research and figure out where that deity stays most of the time, and travel there (with all the necessary precautions, of course).

Meditation can bring you to a stillness of mind where it becomes easier to hear what the gods have to say to you. Becoming still and grounding and centering, you may notice that you suddenly have a thought, or get an impression, from someone that is not you. Since I’m multiple, I need to be able to tell whether that’s coming from one of my alters or from the divine. Usually, it’s fairly easy to tell apart.

Happy communicating, everyone!


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